a branch among a vine.

          Explaining my life right now is something I may have trouble doing, although I would like to try.  I may even be writing this post just so that I can observe my own life.  I will start off by stating that the pruning process of a relationship with Jesus Christ is painful, peaceful and joyful. It almost makes no sense that those adjectives can all describe the same thing. Though, it is true.
          I feel as though I am seeing more "layers" of my character than ever before; some of these layers are very ugly and through the Holy Spirit I am working on "throwing out" ugly traits. The painful adjective of this process is when you really see a flaw in your character and at moments it is immediately following a conversation or comment you made to, about or with someone. It pierces when you say or do something you truly wanted to have no part with. The other painful part of being "pruned" is that when you see a flaw you know you have to do something about it and when you don't it is like a wall you cannot see past.
        To explain why this is process is also peaceful is something I'm not sure everyone can or will relate to, though I hope you can.  It can be peaceful because I am seeing God work in, through and around me.  The only reason I am seeing my character flaws, or sins, is because God is allowing me to.  He is allowing me to see them so that I may walk away from the sins and live a more abundant life, for His glory. If I was not convicted for the sins in my life then I would have no proof of the Holy Spirit being at work.  I see it as God not letting go of me and caring enough to show me a more joyful life.
          I am grateful for my God and so happy to see Him at work in my life and I want to never do anything other than make him famous.

"when Satan came knocking with temptation... I sent Jesus to answer the door."

-unknown

the truth will set you free.

"And, while it is true that the mind and the heart are mutually enlivening, it is also clear that the mind is mainly the servant of the heart. That is, the mind serves to know the truth that fuels the fires of the heart."

-John Piper from "Think"

"the LORD bless you and keep you;

the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you,

the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace."

- numbers 6:24-26

shot to the heart.

It is always an interesting thing when someone brings something up to you about your personality and it seems to rock your world.  Yesterday, while having a conversation with a friend he brought up a thing he has noticed about me.  He asked me about the wall that I have, why I don't always express my deepest opinion on subjects.  He explained to me that he could see that I always had more to say but he could see that I keep it to myself. When he said this, it felt like I got stabbed somewhere deep inside and felt a pain.  This pain felt brand new, though it also felt like it had been there all my life.

A wall? Truth is, when he mentioned I have a wall it felt like I looked up at wall that I had never seen, and it was stinking tall. This guy needs to be a therapist.

I'm not sure how he dug that out of me but he sure did.  I haven't been able to shake what he said.  It just keeps repeating in my head.  I have lost all focus since yesterday afternoon and feels like I am floating around. I feel so much that the current season of life [and all of life in general] is about faith in God.  Wait patiently Brett. Be still and know that God is God. The difficulty of this season is learning patience.  It only makes sense that if it is patience I would like to gain, then it is situations where I need to be patient that I will learn.

I'm just having to tell myself that I will look back on this season with gratitude.  I'm hoping to gain that gratitude in the present. 

no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

the influence you can have.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

            -Philippians 4:8-9

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

            -Ephesians 4:29