It is always an interesting thing when someone brings something up to you about your personality and it seems to rock your world. Yesterday, while having a conversation with a friend he brought up a thing he has noticed about me. He asked me about the wall that I have, why I don't always express my deepest opinion on subjects. He explained to me that he could see that I always had more to say but he could see that I keep it to myself. When he said this, it felt like I got stabbed somewhere deep inside and felt a pain. This pain felt brand new, though it also felt like it had been there all my life.
A wall? Truth is, when he mentioned I have a wall it felt like I looked up at wall that I had never seen, and it was stinking tall. This guy needs to be a therapist.
I'm not sure how he dug that out of me but he sure did. I haven't been able to shake what he said. It just keeps repeating in my head. I have lost all focus since yesterday afternoon and feels like I am floating around. I feel so much that the current season of life [and all of life in general] is about faith in God. Wait patiently Brett. Be still and know that God is God. The difficulty of this season is learning patience. It only makes sense that if it is patience I would like to gain, then it is situations where I need to be patient that I will learn.
I'm just having to tell myself that I will look back on this season with gratitude. I'm hoping to gain that gratitude in the present.
I definitely feel ya in the learning patience department. That's right where I'm at and it's not easy. Praying over you my brother in Christ.
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