stuck under fear.

       I would say this week is draining me.  Not because it is busy, just because.  Hang with me as it may seem like complaining. Not 100 percent on the direction of this post, though I need to blog as it has been a few days since a longer post. 
       I have been living in fear all week long.  Under the chains of myself.  I won't pretend that I have it all together as that takes too much energy. Lies abundantly being believed.  This very thing being what is draining me. Guilt of flesh sitting on my shoulders.  

Welcome to my biggest struggle: ME.

      I won't go completely into what I'm living in fear of.. because it's not necessary.  Though I'm sure some of you can relate.  Receiving love is so tough for me.  I live almost hiding from it.  It is so undeserved to be loved, but is not that the point of a gift? Undeserved, though so worth it for the person [or God] who is sending it our way.  
      Some of you know about my tattoo on my foot, "We Are More Than Conquerors."  It has been almost three years since I got it and I think I am understanding now more than ever why I have it.  It's almost like God is saying, "Brett, this is going to be your biggest struggle in life, here is a reminder: Nothing can separate you from Christ... you are more than a conqueror." If some of you are into metaphors the crazier thing about having it on my foot is.. we stand on our feet everyday.  It is a foundation for our body.  I didn't have that in mind when I got it I really just thought it was a cool spot for a tattoo. 
       With that said, I need to stand on this truth today for my sanity. I need to be lost in the freedom Jesus has for me.  It will bring him glory and it helps weigh the importance of the cross in my life.  I do not ever want to loose sight of Jesus dying on a cross and God's never-ending grace.
       I've always said I would be transparent with you on this blog so that is where my thoughts are this morning; selfishly thinking about my sanity but still wanting to bring Jesus fame and glory that is his to have.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose."

- Galatians 2:20 & 21