bad moods.

       Today's thoughts are lying around the realm of.. so if I'm free, why the heck the bad mood? This is something I am an expert in.  But, not an expert on the free side of it.  More the bad mood.  I'm pro at that. I feel as if I walk around ninety percent of my day in a foul mood. It's annoying really. I'd like a vacation from it.
       A part of going through therapy is that I am learning a ton about who I am and why I am the way that I am. It's been interesting to watch myself in situations.  I'm seeing how I react to things.  The common "old Brett" way of reaction is to close up and hide away.  To see how far down I can shove my emotions over different matters. Knowing that is how I react I'm having to make choices to not react that way and rather face my emotions straight on.
      I'm so thankful that God has shown me what I have seen and that he teaches me why certain things go the way that they do.  So, coming to a conclusion on bad moods.. I have to realize there is more going on around me than I can see.  I promise to never get "weird" with you guys about spiritual matters.  I will on the other hand speak what I believe to be true, so please take from it what I mean. I say that to say, there is a battle going on around us [follower of Jesus or not] that we can not see but it can be felt.
      As much as I talk about how God wants us to be his children there is also an enemy that wants us as well.  Satan.  He will do all things in his power to change the atmosphere around us to allow us to believe in his lies. This war is constantly going on.  I believe the more you pursue God the more Satan feels threatened and the harder he tries to get us to fall.
       When I feel depressed, angry, anxious or sad I try to ask myself.. why the bad mood?  I've learned to face the situation at hand and acknowledge what is probably going on around me.  Then I remind myself, the victory has been won.  Although the physical things around me are not great, it is possible to have complete peace on the inside.  The reason Jesus died on a cross and rose from the dead was to defeat the schemes of the devil.  In this he brought ultimate glory to God the Father.  In this he also brought to us an invitation for eternal life in Heaven with him where there will be no evil.
       I feel the need to ask of you to face your situations up front.  Acknowledge the truth of the situation and then realize that Jesus has complete victory over evil.  I'm not telling you that we will have "perfect" lives acknowledging this, though I am saying we could have more peace on the inside despite what is happening on the outside.  Can we learn this together? I hope to learn this more and more.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

'For your sake we are being killed all the day long;

we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.'

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

-Romans 8:35-37 [ESV]

toughy.

       My prayer for this blog is that I would never steer anyone in the wrong direction.  I would like to tackle a few tough subjects in this post and I'm not saying that I have "the answer" to these matters. But, I will do the best with what I know.
       Some of you know that there is a topic being discussed about a well known communicator who has been teaching false "Christian" beliefs. It's somewhere along the lines of, how could a loving God send anyone to hell... So does he mean everyone goes to heaven?  I'm honestly not going to go any further with that.  You may or may not have heard about this.
       I began thinking about what salvation means to me and how salvation came into my life and lives of others I know. I know one struggle I've had and a struggle that many of you have probably had or are currently  having with being a follower of Jesus is, so I do have to do "things" to be saved? or so I don't have to do "things" to be saved? [are there tons of changes I have to make to be a Christian or not?]

       Which is it?

       That is a common discussion I've had recently with friends.  Why is it there are certain ways to live or life changes to make in the Bible if salvation in Jesus is something we don't have to work for?  What does it mean to "practice righteousness" if all you have to do is say "yes" to Jesus?  Sooo... God loves me just because? Well, what does all of that mean for my life anyway? Should it be important?

       Ever had these thoughts?

                     yeah... me too.

       So. Where am I with all of this? I want Jesus.  It gets messy and confusing without him.  Well, what about the "doing things" part of it?  I want Jesus and if Jesus wants me to practice a righteous way of living so that he is given glory and I may find ultimate joy.. than I want Jesus and his way of living.
       The other place I've decided to resolve with these issues is.. I need to be in my Bible.  Not because it is the "right" thing to do.  But, because it has truth in it.
       I know not everyone who stumbles across this blog believes that the Bible is true or in fact that anything I post on here is true. I'm okay with this.  I want you to know a lot of the things I post on here are for people who call themselves followers of Jesus.  I DO hope one day you can be a follower of Jesus. I don't think of you differently because you don't believe things about Jesus.  I haven't always believed in Jesus, so I understand what it is like to think that all things I post are dumb and have meaningless information.  Nor do I think I'm any better than you.  I hope one thing we may agree on is that there is always more to learn here on Earth.

       I hope I tackled this post well and made it understandable. It's a tough couple of things to voice my opinions on and make sure that I am leading you and I in the correct direction.  If you disagree with anything I posted [this post, previous posts or future posts] please email me with your thoughts.  I promise I will listen.

Email: BrettJamesShields@gmail.com

"Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,

we wait for you;

your name and renown

are the desire of our hearts."

Isaiah 26:8

got to let it go.

       This morning I would like to be completely transparent with you about one of my biggest struggles [physical struggles].  I've wanted to mention it on here before, but for those of you who don't know this about me, I'm somewhat embarrassed for you to know. A lot of you know about my past.. the drugs, rehab, disciplinary issues, etc.  One thing I tried when I was 10 has stuck with me through my finding Christ, smoking.
       For a lot of you, this is not news to you.  For some of you it probably is.  The reason why I am finally bringing it up is because I would like to quit.  It honestly doesn't make sense for my life anymore [not that it ever should have].  I brought it up to my close brothers last night and there response was great and encouraging.  This pushed me to bring it up to all of you, because I consider you family also.
       I found a verse that spoke to me about the 'passions of my former ignorance.'  I would say that smoking is one of those.  In the past on my blog I spoke about how we have the choice to practice sin or practice righteousness, my "bros" reminded me last night that quitting this is not going to be an overnight change.. but more a practice.
       Selfishly, may I ask you to be praying for me about this?  If you bump into me, please ask me about it!  I do think you're all family to me.  If you do not believe in God or do not pray and you see me in public smoking... feel free to punch me! [preferably in the arm] Love you guys.

"As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'"

1 Peter 1:14-16 [ESV]

up and down.

       Today, I have no subject to discuss.. but more many subjects.  I will do my best to not come off as complaining.  I'm tired.  I've noticed the past few days that I have been looking everywhere other than God for my "needs."  I've felt this uncomfortable void inside of me and I've pushed away from getting down on my knees and had thought that nothing in the Bible can help my with this down mood.  It's a tough situation.  The guilt also comes in that the majority of the world is far worse off than I could even imagine being.  So, soul.. why are you down?
       I struggle so much with feeling and believing that God really does love me.  I'll even be more honest and say at times the question comes into my head, "Even if God does love me, why is this supposed to be important for my life?"  I would guess many of you have thought the same way. Now, I don't want to bring any of you down with a "sad" blog entry.  My duty [i feel] is to encourage you through my blog.  I'm sure someone is encouraged that they are not the only person who gets upset for no reason.  I have learned many things from my mom and one of them is, it's okay to be upset. 
       The tough part for me with emotions is that, I don't know how to deal with them all of the time.  This is something my therapist and I have been discussing.  If I get into a bad mood, it is all over, I don't know how to think or make rational decisions.  I've also realized I don't know how to deal with positive emotions all of the time either.  Sounds kind of funny to say out loud.  Recently I've had a couple of situations where I was so excited, I found myself calling my mother and asking, "Is it okay to be THIS excited about that?"  We both laughed about that question.
       I will also add that part of the reason why I have been upset is that I am confused about something.  I am pretty sure I know a little bit about the direction of at least the next year of my life.  Just when I started to see that, the country of Estonia comes to mind.  Every time I pray, worship, listen to a sermon, read, etc.  it blocks any other thoughts.  I understand that I am a missions driven person.  But for the first time [in a long time] I am excited about what God has in store in America, at least for now.
       I believe one important thing for me to do right now is not make any decisions on Estonia.  I've made mistakes in my past that have brought me down because I made a decision while I was emotionally fired up.  If you are a person like me whom loves to be "moved" emotionally,  [Examples: a good emotional movie, or a great emotional book would be something that interest you] then this could be a big help for you and I.  TRY and not make "life" decisions when all you feel is emotions about it. 
       I am learning and would like to continue to learn to be intentional about things, relationships, love, work, discipleship, etc. because I know I already have strong emotions about things.  I am hoping that together, intentionality and emotions, more practical decisions can be made in my life.  So, before I begin to go in a circle with this blog post I will end it there.
       Would you keep me in your prayers if you happen to think of me?  My prayer with this blog post is that we can be more intentional, as Christians, with our love and words.  It is always a choice to choose to love someone, just as God chose to love us.  And because God first loved us we may go and love others the same. Thanks for your time, I don't deserve for people to hear my thoughts, and I am so thankful that I get to share.  I love you guys!

into my life.

        I never know what I'm doing with this blog but I thought that some of you readers [three of you] are getting to know a little bit about me.  With that said, I want to let you know that I am falling more in love with playing drums everyday.  I love studying [youtubing drummers] drums and learning new things, sounds, techniques, etc.  I want to share with you a drummer whom I am really into right now, just so you can get a taste of awesomeness and maybe see what it is I see about drums.  This guy owns a drumset.  And by "owns" I mean he is not afraid of it.  This is something I am learning about the skill of drums, I CAN have control over the kit.  The drums don't move, the drummer does.  Confidence is huge in any skill, be it music, painting, writing, photography and whatever hits home with you.  You've got to own your skills. 
       They are gifts that have been given to you.  Specifically for you and you have the ability to add your personality into it.  I hope with drums that my personality shows through the playing.  This video I posted below is a drummer who plays with a ton of confidence.  If you can at least see that aside from the musical aspect, I hope it can encourage you in your own skill!  I know this blog post is late at night compared to my other ones, but if there is one thing I know about creative people... you like to stay up late.  With that said I present to you Chad Smith.

Fire in Estonia. [by: Kati]

Fire kills 10 children…

Ten children are dead after fire engulfs the hospital wing of a children’s home in Estonia.
via Estonia fire kills 10 children.


The Estonian government met for an emergency meeting after the blaze and declared Monday a nationwide day of mourning.

We are all praying for the close ones and families of the children. It’s a huge tragedy and as Christians, it’s our time to just be there with our prayers. The newspapers have already had headlines like: “Where was God, when this happened?” etc. This nation that doesn’t know God, so they use everything to make Him look bad and not wanted. They needforgiveness and love. God is love! God has a purpose!

My heart breaks for the news, but I need to trust that God has a bigger plan! I need to believe that God will raise up Christians all over Estonia to testify to their friends when things like these happen, because I can assure you that people will ask from us now especially about God and why did this happen.  Let us be strong in Him and Praise Him even in the darkest hours of our lives!

[From a friends blog who lives in Estonia.]
----------------------------------

More than America.

2011.

The year of therapy.

For my brain and for my eyes. 

I found out today to fix and train my eyes to work well together could be 48 sessions.  Every other week.

Between that and the therapy sessions I started a month ago [because I'm crazy], I will be busy with appointments.

Different type of year ahead.  I'm very thankful for this.

Quiet time. [by: Jon Acuff]

What does your quiet time smell like? - Stuff Christians Like - Jon Acuff
by jon acuff on Feb 19, 2011 8:43 AM

Last weekend, when I got the coffee out and started making it, I thought to myself, “This smells like my quiet time.” (Please insert your own “Smells like teen spirit,” Nirvana joke.)

For years, whenever I’ve had a morning quiet time, I’ve done it while drinking a cup of coffee. Now, the two feel intrinsically linked. Not that I can’t spend time reading the Bible without coffee, but even just the smell of it triggers the idea of quiet time in my head. Which made me curious, what are the things in your life that have become associated with your Bible study, or your personal worship or your quiet time?

Is it a place? The beach or a mountain vista?

Is it an album? Some band you always listened to before you started your quiet time?

Is it coffee or tea?

What is your version of coffee during your quiet time?

[Jon Acuff]

Jon Acuff Blog (Link)

"For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith." 1 John 5:4

dude. did you hear about _______? what an idiot.

       I've got some pretty cool friends in my life whom I am glad like to have me around.  I am most of the time around just guys.  Most of whom are musicians.  We spend most of our time talking about gear, bands, how something went that we played at, etc.  We like to talk about how well someone played if we had the opportunity to see them, but we also talk about how bad someone messed up.  Also, since we are leading people in worship most of the time we are playing, we can get into conversation about how much somebody messed up [off the stage] in their day-to-day life.

       We feed information to each other about other people's lives and look for, whomever we are talking to, that person to agree with what we are saying.

      

Example:

 P1: "Dude, ____Px_____ was an idiot the other night, he drank to much and ________ happened.

P2: "He's so dumb."

P3: "Yeah, it is funny how he talks about getting up on stage and leading people in worship but he went and did that."

P1: "I mean you guys think he is an idiot, right?

P2: "Yeah totally."

P3: "Dude, for sure"

       I'm sure you get the point.  If you're not in the music talk, you could probably change a few of these words around to fit your situation. My favorite part about that conversation is person 1.  The second comment they make is looking for confirmation that everyone around agrees with them that person "x" is an idiot.  I guarantee you have all been in this situation, assuming you went to high school.

       The truth is however, that for most people this type of gossip didn't stop in high school.  It definitely didn't stop for me and I know my friends would agree that this is a subject that they deal with.  A lot of times [most of the time] it's not even that "mean" what we gossip about behind people's backs.  It's jokes that everyone could laugh about.  Well, except maybe the person that is about.

       I read a blog that someone I work with posted about complaining about your wife.  He wrote about how as a husband you never have permission to complain about your wife and especially not to your "dudes" when it is guys night out.  He mentioned this invisible wall that begins to build up between a husband and wife when you talk or complain about them behind their back.  In that light, I looked at all of my relationships.  Especially the ones at home with my family.  I noticed that there were friends and family members, who for some reason, I couldn't be around at times.  That even the smallest of things they would do bugged me.

       Why was this?  What had they done to make me not stand being around them? It is like there is a wall between us..... oh, there it is.

       They had done nothing.  It was me, talking behind their back about how "dumb" something they had done was.  I was the reason I couldn't be around them.  When they were defenseless and not around I was looking for someone to agree with me about the way I saw it.  I was looking for "power" over a friendship or relationship. It felt good to have someone else say, "yeah, that was pretty mean of them." 

       I'm sure you are already thinking about someone that this has happened with or is happening with.  I've realized that it is not my responsibility to change the way someone acts towards me.  Truthfully, I can't do that.  I've tried and instead of changing the person I just wrote them off of my list. Pretty cruel.  It hurt me to see [and still see] the way that I love. Completely conditional.

       I believe this topic is for both followers of Jesus and for people who could care less about God.  The reason being is that, there are probably people saying cruel things about you [and me] behind our backs.  No matter what you believe in, that is not cool. I think we can be confident that it is less likely for someone to talk behind our backs if we don't talk behind theirs. If we love our brothers [and sisters] then the Bible says that we, "abide in the light, and in him [or her] there is no cause for stumbling." 1 John 2:10

       To abide in the light though, you have to know Jesus.  You must understand that God loved all of us first, before we did [or didn't do] anything.  Honestly, it would have to be Jesus to keep me from gossip. Without him I am likely to talk about someone behind their back. I want to share some scripture with you and if you're not a follower of Jesus my prayer and trust is in God that the Holy Spirit would open your eyes to this.  If you are a follower of Jesus my prayer is that as brothers and sisters we could learn to love as Christ loves us.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves.. has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:7 & 8 (ESV)

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning [making amends for] sacrifice for our sins."     1 John 4: 9 & 10 (TNIV)

"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar, for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen.. cannot love God whom he has not seen." 1 John 4:19 & 20(ESV)

 

mountains.

ready for 3 o'clock tomorrow. Mountains, I'm coming to you.

creativity.

Every wake up in an inhumane mood? Yeah, me too. Today. I'm going to post a picture from the other night that I took.  One of my favorite parts about where I work is that when there is a beautiful sunset... I get front row seats from the roof. I'm posting it because it was a better feeling than I had waking up this morning when I was watching the sunset go from yellow, to gold, to red and finally to pink all in 30 minutes.

Glad our God is so creative.  It would take a creative mind to %100 know my mind.. all the webs and tangles that make it up. 

Here's to a hopeful and better day!

the hold up for most.

       Evil. Hate. Death. Loss. Brokenness. Failure. Are what we face everyday on Earth. It sucks, it's painful and it is no fun at all.  It is real and when we face any of these things our world seems to be falling apart.  I hate when I fall into the avenue of failure.  That is one big painful thing for me.  I'm not talking about failing a test [when I was in school] or losing a game.. I'm talking about doing things that I know are not healthy for me.  Doing the things that I hate. There are a couple struggles in my life that many of you could probably relate to that I wish had never entered into my life.  It causes me to feel broken, lost and like a failure.
       These pains are a big hold up for people with God.  Why would he let these evil things happen?  If he is a caring God he wouldn't let this happen, right? Are we just puppets for God to toy around with?
       I get it. It seems so confusing that we have a God who loves us enough to let us do what we want.  Who gives us the freedom to make our own decisions.  Who cares enough to allow us to wake up on a day-to-day basis.
       If you have ever struggled with the subject of evil in the world I want to encourage you to look at it differently.  Read Genesis 2 & 3 in the Bible and see the warning God gave to us and the decision that we made.  I understand that you and I were not there but humans were and humans have been making the same choices since that day.  A choice against a warning that was given by God.  Just like your parents gave you warnings about a hot stove or a sharp knife when you were a child. I want you to see that we as humans made the decision for evil to happen.
       It's not that God couldn't keep it from happening [he could have]. He did allow it to happen though because of the freedom we had to make our own choice.
       In the story that is told from Genesis 3 there is another party whom influenced the situation for Adam and Eve to eat from the tree that God instructed them not too.  It was the same influence that causes you and I to make horrible decisions.  An influence that would love nothing more than to have more influence than God has.  Then [in Genesis] he was in the form of a snake and now he is in the form of lies we tell ourselves.  I'm sure you all have exactly who I am talking about in your head.  The name which should not be spoken [for Harry Potter fans].
   
Satan.

        I want you to see that God is not evil and actually cannot even have evil in his presence.  That is why Satan is who he is because in heaven [he was an angel] he wanted to be better than God... so God kicked him out of heaven. Ever since the time when Satan was in heaven his goal has been to get people to do what he wants.  Those things are acts against God. That is where evil began. Not God.  A being against God.
        That's why Jesus came to earth.  To show people the love of God and that we are God's children.  He came because Satan doesn't have the final say for our lives.  All this evil, death, loss, failure, etc. will come to an end.  Until then we can choose to practice something different than these things, through Jesus.  We still have the freedom to choose just like Adam and Eve.  Thank God for Jesus because if we don't always make the right choice, we don't get "kicked out." Jesus is salvation.
       This all may seem surface level and something some of us learned when we were young in the church, but this is everything.  Jesus came and did what none of us could ever do.  Beat Satan. Thank God. Now we can have a perfect father who always knows what is best for his children.

 "Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil."

-1 John 3:8

love.

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are."

-1 John 3:1

thinking.

       I'm a big fan of songwriters.  I also like to think about relationship type songs and how they could relate to my relationship with God.  I was listening to this song this morning and the last part of the song grabbed my attention after that I looked up the lyrics and the whole song grabbed my attention.  Would love to share it with you.  Not much to say about it, just want to get you thinking.  It's healthy to think, you know? Also healthy to learn.  If I were to ever stop learning and thinking I would have no interest in life. With that said:

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water's higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
That you run and never tire.
Desire

-Ryan Adams "Desire" 

brothers [and sisters]

       If I were to lie to you.. I would say I love all my friends equally and on top of that I love everyone in the whole world.

       If I were to be transparent I would tell you a lot of the times my love can be conditional and that there are people whom I don't love.  Even people who I am around on a week-to-week basis. There are some whom I am "supposed" to love that I disrespect by talking behind their backs.  Even deeper than that there are ones who love me deeply that I'm not sure how I feel about them at times.

       I've recently begun going to see a therapist, because I'm crazy.  The first couple of sessions have been great [or miserable depending on how you look at it; but I will try to take the optimistict approach since I normally don't]; it has encouraged me to atleast think about some things I would like to change.  In the last session he suggested I read 1 John through and through.  Not that I place my life in his hands [heck I barely know him] but I believe he is smarter than me, so I listened.  Everything I have read is about no longer walking in the darkness and ways to avoid making God look like a liar.  Good stuff right?

Tough stuff.

       Having to face my sins straight on and actually tell myself; "Self, that is a sin and if you don't admit that sin to God and think you [without Christ] are blameless... than you really think God is a liar." If you are wondering if I really talk to myself that way, yes I do.  Remember therapy? Just kidding, I'm okay with having to talk myself through things.

       One thing that I am finding out about admitting your sins to God is that the approach you take afterward is much different than if you denied having sin in you.  I used to attend AA meetings when I was a little bit younger and they always said, "The first step is admitting you have a problem."  The reason for that is how can you fix a problem if you don't even tell yourself there is a problem to begin with?  You can't.  Everything has to have a foundational beginning.

       Now, that approach I am talking about after admitting your sins is, you understand your true need for Jesus.  All of a sudden scripture like - 1 John 2:5 "but whoever keeps his [God's] word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him." -  becomes alive.  It has meaning and a hope that our sins could never give us.

       All that was kind of a whirlwind off of what I originally was going to blog about, but it all comes together, right? Back to the beginning. If I want to get the most out of God's word, I have to take it as literal, because it is.  About, not loving people [hating people], disrespecting others behind their backs, etc.  This morning I stumbled across this scripture that perked up as something I needed to listen to.  I am sharing it with you, not because I think you struggle with this.  But because I struggle with this and I don't believe I am the only human who struggles with it.

"Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in the darkness.  Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling." - 1 John 2: 9 & 10

freeing.

Repentance is freeing.

And I don't mean the street preacher turn or you will burn in hell repentance.

I mean the have a change of mind and think more like Christ type of repentance.

The confessing that God is right and we are wrong sort of repentance.

Face God for who he truly is so that we can face who we truly are and be forgiven.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrigteousness.  If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 1 John 1: 9 & 10

struggle.

My selfishness v. God's purpose.

"It's 6,783,421,727 and counting. As I write this chapter, this is the population of the world. According to the most liberal estimates, approximately one-third of the world is Christian.  These estimates include all who identify themselves as Christian, whether religiously, socially, or politically.  Likely, not all of them are actually followers of Christ.  But even if we assume they are, that still leaves 4.5 billion people who, if the gospel is true, at this moment are separated from God in their sin and (assuming nothing changes) will spend an eternity in hell.

Again, 4.5 billion."

-from Radical by David Platt

     Let me tell you about my biggest struggle; My selfishness v. God's purpose.  In the past year or so I have come to a place where I believe the Bible has God's purpose written in it.  If you were to ask me if the words that Jesus spoke were meant to be taken literal or metaphorical, I would say literal.  Meaning, I believe that we [if you are a follower of Christ] are meant to literally do the things Jesus said. 

     Jesus spoke, and still speaks, with more authority than anyone in the history of this world.  He spoke with authority having the Glory of God in mind.  This was his main objective; to have God [his father] glorified in all that he spoke and in all that he did.  He was very intentional in this and always knew God's purpose as he lived here on Earth. With knowing that, I have to believe that every word he spoke was very intentional as well.

     Enter: my biggest struggle.  I am selfish.  I do what is comfortable for me out of fear that God's purpose is not what is best for me.  I look God in the face and say, "NO."  I make excuses that I am "figuring" things out, when really I am sitting around waiting for something to grab my attention so I can ignore God's purpose a little longer and with less of a burden.  I believe in what Jesus said but I do not carry it out.  So do I fully trust in God?  I will have to say no, simply because of my actions.

     I put that paragraph from David Platt's book at the top because of the scripture I am about to share with you.  It is scripture [if you have been a Christian for any length of time] you have most likely heard before.  It is one of those things Jesus said that I don't believe he meant to be taken any other way than literal. You see, God has a purpose.  It's for everyone who is a follower of Christ and it is bigger than a "calling."  It looks different for everyone, though it does not change.  I have not figured out how it looks for you or the other third of the world that are Christians, but I believe the Holy Spirit can reveal that to us. So, here it is:

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

-Jesus from Matthew 28:18-20

     Intentional. I don't claim to do this.  That is why I shared with you my struggle.  I still believe this is God's purpose for all.  I believe this brings God the glory that is already his.  It's a statement where Jesus says, I have commanded and taught you these things [The Gospel] so that you can go out to the world and teach them what I have taught you, for the Glory of God. 

     Again, I don't know what this looks like in YOUR life, but I can't deny it being God's purpose. Know God so that you can make God known.  And He will be with you always, to the end of the age.

God, instill this in my heart and the hearts of my friends and family.  Holy Spirit you're the counselor that is promised to us, counsel us in the words of Jesus.  Humble us. Receive your Glory.  In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Is it just that I am more aware or are there a lot of disasters going on this year?